–Michael
This one is easy. Find a French dressing you like (whether that be a recipe or a bottle from the store) and add smoke! My favorite French dressing recipe is Tyler Kord’s in A Super Upsetting Cookbook About Sandwiches (pg 162-63), shared here with his permission.
Ingredients
- 1/2 cup ketchup
- 1 tsp liquid smoke
- 1/2 cup mayo
- 1/2 cup white vinegar
- 1/2 cup canola oil
- 1 garlic clove, minced
- 1 Tbs honey
- 1/2 Tbs Dijon mustard
- 1 tsp kosher salt
Directions
- Mix ketchup and liquid smoke. Let sit for a minimum of 10 minutes.
- Combine smoked ketchup with all other ingredients in a blender or food processor. Blend until smooth.
- Refrigerate.
- Notes:
- Be careful when using liquid smoke, because a little goes a long way.
- If you have a sufficiently strong blender or processor, you may not need to cut up the garlic ahead of time. When making the dressing, I use a Nutribullet blender, so the dressing gets smoother faster if the garlic is minced.
- You may need to pause the blender once or twice to scrape down the mixture to ensure everything blends together. The honey in particular tends to be stubborn about mingling with the rest of the gang.
Unlike Keith, I haven’t made my own smoker from beakers and scientific tubing and duct tape, and so I can’t actually smoke any of my recipes. And anyway, I refuse to buy charcoal or wood chips or anything similar since I don’t own a grill and this is the only thing I smoke. Instead, I use liquid smoke.
(“But Michael,” you say. “Wouldn’t you smoke more things if you made or bought yourself a smoker? You make more bread now that you have a stand mixer — wouldn’t this be similar?” You’re proud of yourself for the good point you’ve made. “But reader,” I say. “Shut up.”)
I suppose I don’t actually know how long this keeps. Given that all of the ingredients independently have quite long shelf lives, I assume the dressing also has a fairly long shelf life. I know for sure that it can last at least two weeks when kept in a sealed glass jar in the fridge. We’ve usually eaten it all by that point, though.
Twelfth Dimension Kitchen 
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